Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this, that you are dreadfully like other people.

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.

There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?