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All Quotes
The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was no one on the other line. Once she said "God Bless you," I said, "I didn't sneeze" She looked deep into my eyes and said, "You will, eventually." And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed.
-- Ellen DeGeneres
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
-- Albert Einstein
I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.
-- Richard Diran
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
-- Isaac Asimov
I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
-- Mitch Hedberg
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)
-- Ambrose Bierce