The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.

The trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed.

Anybody caught selling macramé in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry.

I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?'/ Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."