I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: it's called an eraser.

-- Arnold Palmer
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Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 1900

Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other.

-- Unknown
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Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 1824

I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an escalator temporarily out of order sign, only an escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

-- Mitch Hedberg
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Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 1695

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

-- Dave Barry
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Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 2111

I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level.

-- Dana Carvey
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Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 2101

If the NBA were on channel 5 and a bunch of frogs making love was on channel 4, I'd watch the frogs even if they were coming in fuzzy.

-- Bobby Knight
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Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 1972