I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: it's called an eraser.

-- Arnold Palmer
Laughs
4535
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 2310

Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other.

-- Unknown
Laughs
4255
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 2144

I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an escalator temporarily out of order sign, only an escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

-- Mitch Hedberg
Laughs
4301
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 2073

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

-- Dave Barry
Laughs
4517
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 2492

I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level.

-- Dana Carvey
Laughs
4019
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 2492

If the NBA were on channel 5 and a bunch of frogs making love was on channel 4, I'd watch the frogs even if they were coming in fuzzy.

-- Bobby Knight
Laughs
4402
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 2379