It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

-- George Burns
Laughs
3535
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Apr 11, 2008
Views: 1503

I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.

-- Zach Braff
Laughs
3576
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Apr 11, 2008
Views: 1478

We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it.

-- Roald Dahl
Laughs
3536
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Feb 1, 2008
Views: 1874

The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps.

-- Benjamin Disraeli
Laughs
3558
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Feb 1, 2008
Views: 1825

There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun.

-- Pablo Picasso
Laughs
3850
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Feb 1, 2008
Views: 2376

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money.

-- Joe Weinstein
Laughs
4162
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Feb 1, 2008
Views: 2308