Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.

The Constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a damn fool of himself.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.

Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.