Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.

If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow.