After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

If a cow laughs hard enough, does milk come out its nose?

The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work.

I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building.

I know nothing about sex because I was always married.

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.