It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.

Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself.

In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.

Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.

In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.