Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

The Constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a damn fool of himself.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.