A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known.

I know nothing about sex because I was always married.

If I can't get the girl, at least give me more money.