No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.

The Constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a damn fool of himself.

In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.

Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.