If a cow laughs hard enough, does milk come out its nose?

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.

Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself.

When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.'

Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.