I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Don't get excited about a tax cut. It's like a mugger giving you back fare for a taxi.

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.