Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.

Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.