April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"?

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral.