There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Whose cruel idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"?

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.