Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known.

If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me.