I know nothing about sex because I was always married.

If I can't get the girl, at least give me more money.

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me.