Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

Fortune does not change men, it unmasks them.

I am thankful for the taxes I pay because it means that I'm employed.

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money.

It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.