Quotes - Popular

If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me.

-- Jimmy Buffett
Laughs
7334
I Laughed
Author: Goofy Jan 14, 2008
Views: 4619

I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say 'Mitch,' and I say 'what?' and turn my head slightly.

-- Mitch Hedberg
Laughs
5409
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Aug 7, 2007
Views: 3780

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.

-- Dean Martin
Laughs
5411
I Laughed
Author: Chris Jun 5, 2007
Views: 3564

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

-- Jef Raskin
Laughs
6598
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Feb 1, 2008
Views: 2972

Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.

-- Charles Kuralt
Laughs
6163
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Jan 22, 2008
Views: 2967

Anybody caught selling macramé in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry.

-- Calvin Trillin
Laughs
5598
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Apr 16, 2008
Views: 2959