We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years.

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow.