Quotes - Popular

The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was no one on the other line. Once she said "God Bless you," I said, "I didn't sneeze" She looked deep into my eyes and said, "You will, eventually." And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed.

-- Ellen DeGeneres
Laughs
3746
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Author: The Idiot Apr 16, 2008
Views: 7874

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.

-- George Bernard Shaw
Laughs
4009
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Author: The Idiot Aug 13, 2007
Views: 4988

There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.

-- Linus Van Pelt in It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
Laughs
6369
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Jan 29, 2008
Views: 3689

In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.

-- Ellen DeGeneres
Laughs
4753
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Author: The Idiot Jan 30, 2008
Views: 3651

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

-- Redd Foxx
Laughs
3727
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Author: The Idiot Jan 29, 2008
Views: 3531

Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work.

-- Gallagher
Laughs
5211
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Author: The Idiot Jan 22, 2008
Views: 3116