Quotes - Popular

The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was no one on the other line. Once she said "God Bless you," I said, "I didn't sneeze" She looked deep into my eyes and said, "You will, eventually." And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed.

-- Ellen DeGeneres
Laughs
3363
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Apr 16, 2008
Views: 7497

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.

-- George Bernard Shaw
Laughs
3590
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Aug 13, 2007
Views: 4761

There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.

-- Linus Van Pelt in It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
Laughs
5925
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Jan 29, 2008
Views: 3433

In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.

-- Ellen DeGeneres
Laughs
4352
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Jan 30, 2008
Views: 3368

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

-- Redd Foxx
Laughs
3336
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Jan 29, 2008
Views: 3284

Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work.

-- Gallagher
Laughs
4779
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Jan 22, 2008
Views: 2840