Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.