If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

I can resist everything except temptation.