Quotes - Popular

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

-- Steven Wright
Laughs
704
I Laughed
Author: Chris May 31, 2007
Views: 1102

Then there's the story of the man who avoided reality for 70 years with drugs, sex, alcohol, fantasy, TV, movies, records, a hobby, lots of sleep... And on his 80th birthday died without ever having faced any of his real problems.

The man's younger brother, who had been facing reality and all his problems for 50 years with psychiatrists, nervous breakdowns, tics, tension, headaches, worry, anxiety and ulcers, was so angry at his brother for having gotten away scott free that he had a paralyzing stroke. ... [more]

-- R. Geis
Laughs
740
I Laughed
Author: somoloye Aug 1, 2007
Views: 1028

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.

-- Dick Cavett
Laughs
446
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Apr 14, 2008
Views: 963

In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.

-- Paul Harvey
Laughs
1263
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Aug 12, 2007
Views: 778

I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, "I wanna grow up and be a critic."

-- Richard Pryor
Laughs
351
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Aug 7, 2007
Views: 762

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

-- George Carlin
Laughs
568
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Aug 12, 2007
Views: 752