You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.

Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself.

The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was no one on the other line. Once she said "God Bless you," I said, "I didn't sneeze" She looked deep into my eyes and said, "You will, eventually." And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed.

Then there's the story of the man who avoided reality for 70 years with drugs, sex, alcohol, fantasy, TV, movies, records, a hobby, lots of sleep... And on his 80th birthday died without ever having faced any of his real problems.

The man's younger brother, who had been facing reality and all his problems for 50 years with psychiatrists, nervous breakdowns, tics, tension, headaches, worry, anxiety and ulcers, was so angry at his brother for having gotten away scott free that he had a paralyzing stroke. ... [more]

In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world.