Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you!

I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.