My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

-- Rita Rudner
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4762
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Author: The Idiot Feb 1, 2008
Views: 2026

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners.

-- E. Joseph Cossman
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4760
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Author: The Idiot Feb 1, 2008
Views: 2046

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

-- Jef Raskin
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Author: The Idiot Feb 1, 2008
Views: 2595

Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.

-- Evan Esar
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5122
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Author: The Idiot Feb 1, 2008
Views: 1785

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

-- Burt Bacharach
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4756
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Author: The Idiot Feb 1, 2008
Views: 1952

When Solomon said there was a time and a place for everything he had not encountered the problem of parking his automobile.

-- Bob Edwards
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4683
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Author: The Idiot Feb 1, 2008
Views: 1931