Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

He's the kind of a guy who lights up a room just by flicking a switch.

Christmas is the one time of year when people of all religions come together to worship Jesus Christ.