Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Give a fish a man, and he'll eat for weeks!

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience.

Silly is you in a natural state, and serious is something you have to do until you can get silly again.

When I played pro football, I never set out to hurt anyone deliberately - unless it was, you know, important, like a league game or something.

I get a lot of cracks about my hair, mostly from men who don't have any.

Sometimes the mind, for reasons we don't necessarily understand, just decides to go to the store for a quart of milk.