In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

-- Mark Twain
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Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 2040

I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an escalator temporarily out of order sign, only an escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

-- Mitch Hedberg
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Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 1747

I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level.

-- Dana Carvey
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Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 2157

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.

-- Woody Allen
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Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 1782

Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk.

-- Andy Gibb
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Author: The Idiot Apr 16, 2008
Views: 2019

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

-- Fletcher Knebel
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Author: The Idiot Apr 16, 2008
Views: 2234