In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

-- Mark Twain
Laughs
3319
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 1909

I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an escalator temporarily out of order sign, only an escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

-- Mitch Hedberg
Laughs
3464
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 1617

I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level.

-- Dana Carvey
Laughs
3261
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 2027

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.

-- Woody Allen
Laughs
3288
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Apr 28, 2008
Views: 1658

Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk.

-- Andy Gibb
Laughs
4683
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Apr 16, 2008
Views: 1906

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

-- Fletcher Knebel
Laughs
3635
I Laughed
Author: The Idiot Apr 16, 2008
Views: 2111