In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an escalator temporarily out of order sign, only an escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level.

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.

Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.