The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault.

Then there's the story of the man who avoided reality for 70 years with drugs, sex, alcohol, fantasy, TV, movies, records, a hobby, lots of sleep... And on his 80th birthday died without ever having faced any of his real problems.

The man's younger brother, who had been facing reality and all his problems for 50 years with psychiatrists, nervous breakdowns, tics, tension, headaches, worry, anxiety and ulcers, was so angry at his brother for having gotten away scott free that he had a paralyzing stroke. ... [more]

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.