Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

First you're an unknown, then you write one book and you move up to obscurity.

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.