Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising glance at his pals.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane.