To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it.

In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.

Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself.

Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.

I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.