* A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.

* Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

* You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

* When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

* Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

* To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.

* There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over.

* If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

* When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

* The longer the title, the less important the job.

* Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.