1. To give it a Times Square feel, everyone is groped, fondled and pick-pocketed

2. The 'Party Hats' look suspiciously like stolen traffic cones

3. There's a "Happy 2007" sticker on the packet of shrimp you've been eating all night

4. It's January 6th

5. Prison regulations require lights out at 10:00 pm

6. The guests have decided to start the midnight countdown at 10,000

7. At midnight everyone gathers around to watch your Uncle Earl's pants drop

8. You hear a guy doing a count down before using the bathroom

9. The 'Champagne' tastes suspiciously like apple juice mixed with Alka Seltzer