Angel's Food vs. Devil's Food

The Idiot — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 12:19:55 -0700

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Ranch Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

Things To Know About Chuck Norris

The Idiot — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 11:47:34 -0700

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

The Devil's Dictionary -- Part One

The Idiot — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 11:44:19 -0700

A selection of quotes from "The Devil's Dictionary" by Ambrose Bierce:

1. BACKBITE, v.t.
To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.

2. BEAUTY, n.
The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

3. BELLADONNA, n.
In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.

4. BORE, n.
A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

5. BRIDE, n.
A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

6. DIPLOMACY, n.
The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

7. FEMALE, n.
One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.

8. GHOST, n.
The outward and visible sign of an inward fear.

9. GRAVE, n.
A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

10. GUILLOTINE, n.
A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.

My Word!

The Idiot — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 15:13:34 -0700

BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

GOSSIP:
Never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

KLEENEX:
Cold Storage.

INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES:
Something other people have. You have character lines.

British Hospitality

The Idiot — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 15:06:07 -0700

An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the locals, and have a pint of bitter.

After a while, he finds himself in a very nice neighborhood with big, stately residences...no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.

He really, really has to go, after all those Guinnesses. He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.

As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London police officer, who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."

"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, really have to go, and I just can't find a public restroom."

"Ah, yes," said the policeman..."Just follow me". He leads the American to a back delivery alley to a gate, which he opens.

"In there," points the policeman. "Go ahead sir, anywhere you like."

The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.

Since he has the policeman's blessing, he relieves himself and feels much more comfortable. As he goes back through the gate, he says to the police officer, "That was really decent of you... is that what you call English hospitality?"

"No sir...", replied the police officer, "...that is what we call the French Embassy."

Know Your State's Motto - Part Two

The Idiot — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:56:53 -0700

Nebraska - Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada - Prostitutes and Poker!

New Hampshire - Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey - You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right here!

New Mexico - Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York - You Have The Right To Remain Silent; You Have The Right To An Attorney...

North Carolina - Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota - We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio - At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma - Like The Play, But No Singing

Oregon - Spotted Owl...It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania - Cook With Coal

Rhode Island - We’re Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina - Remember The Civil War? Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet

South Dakota - Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee - The Edyoocashun State

Texas - Se Hablo Ingles

Utah - Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont - Ay, Yep

Virginia - Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington - We Have More Rain Than You Do

West Virginia - One Big Happy Family...Really!

Wisconsin - Come Cut The Cheese!

Wyoming - Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared

Tuesdays Are Taxing!

The Idiot — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:48:57 -0700

"It's tax time. I know this because I'm staring at documents that make no sense to me, no matter how many beers I drink."
-- Dave Barry

"The number of words dealing with income taxes in the Internal Revenue Code and IRS regulations rose nearly tenfold between 1955 and 2005, from 718,000 to more than 7 million How is a mugger different from the Internal Revenue Service? Both take your money, but the mugger doesn't make you fill out forms."
--Jacob Sullum in Reason

"More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments."
-- Robert Orben

"To tax and to please, no more than to love and to be wise, is not given to men."
-- Edmund Burke, 18th Century Irish political philosopher and British statesman

"Taxation with representation ain't so hot either."
-- Gerald Barzan, humorist

"Earlier today, the White House released President Bush's tax return. Not surprisingly, under dependents, the president listed Iraq."
--Conan O'Brien

"The IRS now says you can deduct weight loss plans off your taxes. You can write it off because the government has officially declared obesity a disease. And it's a disease, you can deduct medical expenses. That shows what a difference an administration can make. See under Bush, obesity is a disease. Under Clinton it was just sexy."

"The term "tax humor" is no doubt an oxymoron to many people; to the more cynical, it is an apt description of the entire tax code."
-- John F. Lekel

"You must pay taxes. But there's no law that says you gotta leave a tip."
-- Advertisement

"It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta."
-- Dave Barry

"If a person is an economic being and figures out the odds, then there is a very high incentive to cheat. That is, of course, putting aside honor, duty and patriotism."
-- Jerome Kurtz, former Commissioner, Internal Revenue Service

"The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."
-- Comedian

Called in for an audit, Mr. Briggs was confronted by a surly IRS agent. "It says here, Mr. Briggs, that you are a bachelor; yet you claim a dependent son. Surely this must be a mistake." Looking him straight in the eye, Mr. Briggs replied, "Yup, it surely was."

"A fool and his money are soon parted. It takes creative tax laws for the rest."
-- C Bob Thaves

"The question is: What can we, as citizens, do to reform our tax system? As you know, under our three-branch system of government, the tax laws are created by: Satan. But he works through the Congress, so that's where we must focus our efforts."
-- Dave Barry

"Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag."
-- Jay Leno

"If you are truly serious about preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract - teach him to deduct."
-- Fran Lebowitz

"Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose you more money than any single person in your life, with the possible exception of your kids."
-- Harvey Mackay

" In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other."
-- Voltaire

"Our party has been accused of fooling the public by calling tax increases 'revenue enhancement'. Not so. No one was fooled."
-- J. Danforth Quayle V.P.

The more you earn, the less you keep,
And now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my soul to take,
If the tax collector hasn't got it before I wake.
-- Ogden Nash

This guy walks into the tax auditor's office, the auditor looks at him and says, "Please Mr. Johnson, take a seat. We already own a piece of yours."

Know Your State's Motto - Part One

The Idiot — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:45:03 -0700

Alabama - Heck Yes, We Have Electricity.

Alaska - 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona - But It’s A Dry Heat.

Arkansas - Literacy Ain’t Everything.

California - By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.

Colorado - If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.

Connecticut - Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet.

Delaware - We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.

Florida - Ask Us About Our Grandkids, and Home Of The Early Bird Special

Georgia - We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.

Hawaii - Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)

Idaho - More Than Just Potatoes... Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois - Please, Don’t Pronounce the "S"

Indiana - 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa - We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas - First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky - Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana - We’re Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.

Maine - We’re Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland - If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts - Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's

Michigan - First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

Minnesota - 10,000 Lakes...And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi - Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri - Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana - Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Very Little Else.

The Best of Late Night...

The Idiot — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:37:16 -0700

"In case you forgot, taxes are due next week. You know, we all hate paying taxes, but the truth of the matter is without our tax money, many politicians would not be able to afford prostitutes."

-Jimmy Kimmel

"At a campaign rally in North Dakota, Barack Obama received a hockey stick as a gift from the University of North Dakota ice hockey team. Well, you thought he was a bad bowler."

-Jay Leno

"It's becoming a very controversial Olympics, and it's still months away. Here's the latest: Canada just announced it may boycott this year's Summer Olympics because of China's treatment of Tibet. Yeah, Canada may boycott. When asked about the boycott, Canada's prime minister said, 'I'm very angry at China. Plus, we suck at summer sports.'"

-Conan O'Brien

"Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is now denying that she's interested in being John McCain's vice presidential nominee. She says she doesn't want the job. She believes McCain is a great leader, but she has no training as a registered nurse. So, consequently, she would not be able to assist in any way."

-Jay Leno

"The Pope announced that during his visit to New York City this month, he will visit a synagogue. The Pope's going to visit a synagogue. When asked why, the Pope said, 'I want to perform for a crowd that hasn't heard my material before.'"

-Conan O'Brien

"Penn was kicked off her campaign for promising Colombian officials that he would help them get a trade agreement that Hillary opposes. Did you hear his excuse? Hillary wasn't buying it. He said he misspoke. He was sleep-deprived."

-Jay Leno

"Slightly sad. Over the weekend, America lost one of it's greatest heroes, Charlton Heston. ... Charlton, or 'Chuckles' as he specifically asked me not to call him, was one of the last great Hollywood stars. He had it all -- perfect teeth, manly jaw, epic thighs. He was like Ronald Reagan, if Reagan had been an actor."

-Stephen Colbert

"According to a new poll that just came out -- this is hard to believe -- 81% of Americans think the country is on the wrong track. 81%. The other 19% own gas stations."

-Conan O'Brien

"After Governor Bill Richardson switched his support from Hillary Clinton to Barack Obama last week, an angry Bill Clinton said, 'Five times to my face he said he would never do that.' Wow, so he looked you right in the face and lied to you. What's that like?"

-Seth Meyers

"I feel for John McCain. He has a tough road to hoe now. He's trying to distance himself from George Bush. First off, by completing sentences with punctuation."

-Bill Maher

"The Olympic Torch arrived in Beijing Monday, where it immediately suffered an asthma attack and died."

-Amy Poehler

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

The Idiot — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:32:30 -0700

This is how it develops:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox, when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day:

----the car isn't washed,
----the bills aren't paid,
----there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
----the flowers don't have enough water,
----there is still only 1 check in my check book,
----I can't find the remote,
----I can't find my glasses,
----and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

The Worst Slogan Translations Ever

The Idiot — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:15:21 -0700

13) When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you." The company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."

12) Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing Sucks like an Electrolux."

11) Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into Germany only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "Manure Stick."

10) Coors put its slogan, "Turn It Loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer From Diarrhea."

9) Pepsi's "Come Alive With the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Grave" in Chinese.

8) When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the smiling baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the labels of what's inside, since many people can't read.

7) Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.

6) Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "It takes a strong man to make a tender chicken," was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate."

5) When American Airlines wanted to advertise its new leather first class seats in the Mexican market, it translated its "Fly In Leather" campaign literally, which meant "Fly Naked" (vuela en cuero) in Spanish.

4) An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I Saw the Potato" (la papa).

3) The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation read "Are You Lactating?"

2) General Motors had a very famous fiasco in trying to market the Nova car in Central and South America. "No va" in Spanish means, "It Doesn't Go".

1) The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Kekoukela", meaning "Bite the Wax Tadpole" or "Female Horse Stuffed with Wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "kokoukole", translating into "Happiness in the Mouth."

My Milkshake Brings All The Boys To The Yard

The Idiot — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:05:38 -0700

"I drink your milkshake!"

-Daniel Plainview, from There Will Be Blood

"I drink your milkshake, even though I opposed drinking your milkshake four years ago."

-Mitt Romney

"I drink your milkshake, but only if the Bible says it`s allowed."

-Mike Huckabee

"I may drink your milkshake for another 100 years, if that`s what it takes."

-John McCain

"I drank a milkshake on 9/11."

-Rudy Giuliani

"I'll drink your milkshake a few months after everyone else does."

-Fred Thompson

"I drink your milkshake, but I`m paying for it with gold."

-Ron Paul

"America deserves a new milkshake."

-Barack Obama

"I will fight the corporations so that you can drink your own milkshake."

-John Edwards

"I have 35 years of milkshake-drinking experience. *sob* "

-Hillary Clinton

"I peacefully drink your milkshake."

-Dennis Kucinich

"It depends on what your definition of "milkshake" is."

-Bill Clinton

"I voted for drinking your milkshake before I voted against it."

-John Kerry

"Global warming is melting your milkshake."

-Al Gore

"We`re making good progress in the war on milkshakes, and make no mistake: we will prevail."

-George W. Bush

The Best of Late Night

The Idiot — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:01:02 -0700

"It's tax season. You always gotta be careful. In fact, I always ask my date for a receipt."

-David Letterman

"In Germany, a woman went to a plastic surgeon to have her wrinkles removed. When she woke up, the doctor had given her breast implants. Afterwards, the doctor said, 'Hey — no one’s looking at her wrinkles anymore.'"

-Conan O'Brien

"Kathy Lee Gifford is returning to television. She will be hosting the Today Show. Here’s the scary thing: President Bush knew but failed to act."

-David Letterman

"In a speech to union leaders yesterday, Hillary Clinton compared herself to Rocky Balboa and I think she's right on with that comparison because people seem to forget -- Rocky lost to a good-looking black guy."

-Jimmy Kimmel

"I like John McCain. He reminds me of a guy who spends a lot of time in the yard with a hose. He's looking for a vice presidential running mate. He needs a guy who is conservative, understands the economy and knows how to operate a defibrillator."

-David Letterman

"Not such a great day at CBS. They’re laying off a bunch of news guys. Apparently they have to make room for Andy Rooney’s eyebrows."

-Craig Ferguson

"While campaigning in Pennsylvania yesterday, Barack Obama told an eight-year-old boy if he wants to be president, he should work hard in school, get good grades and find a job that helps people. To which President Bush said, 'That's an April Fool's joke, right?'"

-Jay Leno

"And yesterday down in Washington D.C., President Bush threw out the first pitch at the Nationals game. ... He stayed and then left in the 7th inning and I thought, 'Great, at least he has an exit strategy for that.'"

-David Letterman

"The Washington Post reports that John McCain is having trouble raising enough money for his campaign. Plus, every time someone does donate money to McCain, he puts it in a card and sends it to his grandchildren."

-Conan O'Brien

"Well, in a stunning announcement, Pennyslvania Senator Bob Casey Jr., who had said he would remain neutral, because he's a Democrat, has endorsed Barack Obama. He said he endorsed because of his four young daughters told him they wanted Barack for president. It also explains his choice for vice president -- Hannah Montana"

-Jay Leno

Sitting Swimmingly

The Idiot — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:53:53 -0700

Three guys enter a special swimming contest whereby each contestant is born disabled. The first has no arms. The second has no legs and the third has no body, just a head.

The prospect of the race was a bit ridiculous, but the three had all trained and such a contest was historic, so many people gathered to watch.

They all line up, the whistle blows and "splash" they’re all in the pool.

The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly, but the guy with no legs is closing fast. The head of course sank straight to the bottom.

Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first. Everybody applauds, (except the guy with no arms, of course).

The guy with no legs can still see bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool, so he decides, with all good sportsmanship, to dive down to the bottom of the pool to rescue his fellow competitor. He picks up the head, swims back up to the surface and places the head at the side of the pool, where upon the head starts coughing and sputtering.

Eventually the head catches his breath. He takes a moment and then begins to fume. His face red and steaming, he turns to the crowd and shouts:

"Three years I’ve spent learning to swim with my ears, then two minutes before the whistle, some jerk puts a swimming cap on me!"

Bottle Of Red, Bottle Of White...

The Idiot — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:26:23 -0700

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.

'What in bag?' asked the old woman. Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, 'Good trade.'