http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/light+bulb+jokes Top level view. en-JOTD http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/internet-forum-lightbulb-maintenance <p>How many online forum group members does it take to change a lightbulb?</p> <p>1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.</p> <p>14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.</p> <p>7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.</p> <p>27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.</p> <p>53 to flame the spell checkers.</p> <p>41 to correct spelling/grammar flames.</p> <p>6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"...another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive</p> <p>2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".</p> <p>15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.</p> <p>156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy".</p> <p>109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group</p> <p>203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped.</p> <p>111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group.</p> <p>306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.</p> <p>27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.</p> <p>14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's.</p> <p>3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group.</p> <p>33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too".</p> <p>12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.</p> <p>19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three".</p> <p>4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.</p> <p>44 to ask what is a "FAQ".</p> <p>4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"</p> <p>143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".</p> <p>1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....</p> http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/internet-forum-lightbulb-maintenance#comments Light Bulb Jokes List Long Joke Mon, 13 Aug 2007 15:01:20 -0700 The Idiot 12507 at http://www.joke-of-the-day.com http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/hollywood-explained-lightulbs <p>How many executive producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> Executive producers don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.</p> <p>How many agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.</p> <p>How many studio executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> We don't know. Light bulbs last longer than studio executives.</p> <p>How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> 1,000. One to do it and the others to say, "I would've done that differently."</p> <p>How many D. P.'s does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> One. No, two. No, wait.... how many do we have on the truck?</p> <p>How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candleholder...</p> <p>How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?<br /> If we change the light bulb, we'll have to change everything.</p> <p>How many P. A.'s does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> Nine. One to do it and eight others to wish they'd been asked.</p> <p>How many P. A.'s does it take to screw in a...<br /> Done!</p> <p>How many development executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.</p> <p>How many screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> The bulb is in and it's staying in!</p> <p>How many first A. D.'s does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> Why the hell are you asking me? Can't you see I'm busy!</p> <p>How many U. P. M.'s does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> None! Make it a day exterior we won't screw around with all these light bulbs!</p> <p>How many casting directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> Well, if I really had to choose, there's this one bulb, he's a little oversized for the socket but he burns really bright, or wait, no, there's this little bulb, he's really energy efficient if you want to save time and money, but, wait, there's a fabulous bulb I just saw in a showcase, he has no name value whatsoever, but the design was to die for, but, wait...</p> <p>How many extras does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> Is that a S. A. G. light bulb? How did it get its card? Did it know someone?</p> <p>How many casting directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> It doesn't matter--nobody will give them credit anyway.</p> <p>How many publicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> That is a total rumor. The light bulb has some very good friends, but at this time, is not interested in screwing.</p> <p>How many directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> One. The director just holds the light bulb while the world revolves around him.</p> <p>How many prop masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> Light bulb? Light bulb? The script doesn't mention any light bulb!</p> <p>How many union electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb?<br /> Three. You got a problem with that?</p> http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/hollywood-explained-lightulbs#comments Light Bulb Jokes Misc Humor List Long Joke Wed, 08 Aug 2007 13:37:52 -0700 The Idiot 12200 at http://www.joke-of-the-day.com http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/lawyers-light-bulb <p>Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?</p> <p>A: How many can you afford?</p> Lawyer Light Bulb Jokes Question and Answer Short Joke Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:36:21 -0700 The Idiot 3667 at http://www.joke-of-the-day.com http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/body-builder-light-bulb <p>Q: How many body builders does it take to change a light bulb?</p> <p>A: Nine. One to screw in the bulb while the other 8 hold up the mirrors.</p> Light Bulb Jokes Sports Question and Answer Short Joke Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:36:22 -0700 The Idiot 3830 at http://www.joke-of-the-day.com http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/politicians-and-lightbulbs <p>Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?</p> <p>A: Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.</p> Light Bulb Jokes Political Question and Answer Short Joke Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:36:20 -0700 The Idiot 3611 at http://www.joke-of-the-day.com http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/put-light-bulb <p>Q: How many men does it take to put in a light bulb?</p> <p>A: Only one...but it takes an entire Emergency Room to get it out.</p> Light Bulb Jokes Question and Answer Short Joke Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:36:23 -0700 The Idiot 3941 at http://www.joke-of-the-day.com http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/how-many-lawyers-0 <p>Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?</p> <p>A: How many can you afford?</p> Lawyer Light Bulb Jokes Question and Answer Short Joke Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:36:20 -0700 The Idiot 3631 at http://www.joke-of-the-day.com http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/how-many-lawyers <p>How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?</p> <p>The real question is: How much can the light bulb afford to be screwed for?</p> Lawyer Light Bulb Jokes Short Joke Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:36:20 -0700 The Idiot 3630 at http://www.joke-of-the-day.com http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/blondes-lightbulb <p>Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. </p> <p>One of them decides to call 911.</p> <p>Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.</p> <p>Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?</p> <p>Blonde: Yes.</p> <p>Operator: The power in the house in on?</p> <p>Blonde: Of course.</p> <p>Operator: And the switch is on?</p> <p>Blonde: Yes, yes.</p> <p>Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?</p> <p>Blonde: No, it's working fine.</p> <p>Operator: Then what's the problem?</p> <p>Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves.</p> Blonde Light Bulb Jokes Long Joke Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:36:24 -0700 The Idiot 4121 at http://www.joke-of-the-day.com http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/dinosaurs-economics <p>Dinosaur #1: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb? </p> <p>Dinosaur #2: What is an economist? </p> <p>Dinosaur #1: A flunkie mathematician who tries to predict the population of kangaroos in Australia. But that's not important and don't ask what a Kangaroo is.</p> <p>Dinosaur #2: I don't know, how many? </p> <p>Dinosaur #1: 10 economists and one grad student. One economist to make a model, one to run the regression, one to test the hypothesis, one to interpret the results, one to conclude how to screw it on, one grad student to screw it on, and five economists trying to fight off the dinosaurs trying to eat them.</p> Animal Jokes College Light Bulb Jokes Misc Humor Long Joke Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:36:26 -0700 The Idiot 4349 at http://www.joke-of-the-day.com http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/pregnant-woman-and-lightbulb <p>Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?</p> <p>A: You can unscrew a light bulb!</p> Light Bulb Jokes Relationship Question and Answer Short Joke Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:36:17 -0700 The Idiot 3223 at http://www.joke-of-the-day.com http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/how-many-men <p>Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?</p> <p>A: Four. Actually, only one to screw it in.The other 3 are there to listen to him brag about the screwing part!</p> Light Bulb Jokes Relationship Question and Answer Short Joke Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:36:19 -0700 The Idiot 3444 at http://www.joke-of-the-day.com http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/lightbulbs-dinner <p>Little Freddie said to Little Johnny, "My dad's tougher than your dad!"</p> <p>"Oh yeah?" said Little Johnny, "My dad is so tough, he has lightbulbs for dinner!"</p> <p>"Really?"</p> <p>"Yeah, the other night I heard him tell my mom, 'Turn out the light, I wanna eat it!'"</p> Light Bulb Jokes Relationship Short Joke Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:36:15 -0700 The Idiot 2973 at http://www.joke-of-the-day.com http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/corporate-babble <p>How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?</p> <p>We've formed a task force to study the problem of why light bulbs burnout, and figure out what, exactly, we as supervisors can do to make the bulbs work smarter, not harder.</p> Light Bulb Jokes Office Humor Short Joke Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:35:57 -0700 The Jester 775 at http://www.joke-of-the-day.com http://www.joke-of-the-day.com/jokes/surrealists <p>Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?</p> <p>A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub withbrightly colored machine tools.</p> Light Bulb Jokes Question and Answer Short Joke Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:36:10 -0700 The Idiot 2384 at http://www.joke-of-the-day.com