"Jim will not be in today. He is not feeling himself. Thank you."

Translation:

1. He doesn't feel the way he usually does.

2. He is not in complete control of his hands.

3. His emotions are shattered.

4. His skin is numb.

5. He has transformed into an alter-ego (i.e. professional wrestler)

6. He is not feeling himself, in a biblical sense.

7. He has been covered in saran-wrap.

8. He is in an isolation tank.

9. He wanted to take a day off but couldn't come up with an actual illness to fake.

10. He is feeling others.